She is then kicked to the streets, where she has another conversation with the mirror about her self-hatred, knocking her down to rock-bottom.
'Why am I like this?"
lyrics
I saw that bitch with the same look in her eyes,
Tired, defeated, at the end of her wits,
She stares me up and down, judging my style,
Then her eyebrows raise as she metaphorically spits,
“You’re nothing”, she says, and I say it back,
Seems we’re in agreement though I hate her so,
Nails, hair, clothes all black
And the fringe covering her eyes just seems to show,
The lack of caring, the lack of strife,
The lack of meaning within her life,
Her hatred of self, the burden we’ve sowed
The mirror acting as my true self’s window
It’s not that I love you,
I covet your dress
Your heart-warming smiles
And small perky breasts
For no I am not
Who I want to be
Nothing can change
What the mirror shows me
I find,
comfort,
I find,
warmth
In my bloodstained bathtub
It’s my idea, it’s my mind
I see no qualms, not an issue
I am the fool who isolates myself
Upon my mountain of lies
It’s my life and I’ll die if I want to
And my voidgaze, and my heavy rings
Tell me which way I face when the music blares
I bare the scars and I tell the stories
My temple once considered too sacred to maim
But the arctic sweats I get when I see the looking glass
Prove that ironic a notion
It’s my tale and I’ll cry if I want to
And my snapshots of all temporal fleets
Anchor me to the bottom of a tear-filled lake with no gills
Stucco shoes
Heavy chains
Smile severed
Mirror cracked
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
I try to stop I beat my head
I’ll try to stop until I’m dead
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
I show myself to the world
I show myself as a girl
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
Stupid questions in dumb songs
Rhetorics, pretentious and where the fuck do you get off
But I still ask you, oh you,
Why am I like this
I have a vision and you’re not wrong
I do have a vision you’re not wrong
But my vision is gross and it is wrong
And I hate myself and my thoughts are wrong
I can’t embalm a smirk
I don’t have the means
And the pictures you’ll take
The places you’ll be
Will prove nothing again and again
And again and again and again
And again and again and again
(Break: Do you want to hear my fantasy? Worms pour out of my mouth and locusts swarm my skin. Maggots pour out of my intestines. Not even the bones are left; all picked dry; every piece used within an inch of its life. I am irreparable. I am nothing anymore. Earth will love me. I provide for the mother. And I am gone. This is the crux of my humanity, as I know it, and as I am perceived within my mind.)
Who am I talking to
Who am I talking to
Who can I talk to
Who can I talk to
Who am I talking to (When knives)
Who am I talking to (Press soft into soil)
Who can I talk to (I see you leave)
Who can I talk to (The flowerbed)
Who am I talking to (Love you, love you)
Who am I talking to (Nobody ever did)
Who can I talk to (Desolate)
Who can I talk to (Blood on your hands)
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
I try to stop I beat my head
I’ll try to stop until I’m dead
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
I show myself to the world
I show myself as a girl
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
Stupid questions in dumb songs
Rhetorics are pretentious, where do you get off
Who am I talking to
Who am I talking to
Who can I talk to
Who can I talk to
Who am I talking to (When knives)
Who am I talking to (Press soft into soil)
Who can I talk to (I see you leave)
Who can I talk to (The flowerbed)
Who am I talking to (Love you, love you)
Who am I talking to (Nobody ever did)
Who can I talk to (Desolate)
Who can I talk to (Blood on your hands)
Who am I talking to
Who am I talking to
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
I try to stop I beat my head
I’ll try to stop until I’m dead
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
I show myself to the world
I show myself as a girl
Why am I like this
Why am I like this
Stupid questions in dumb songs
Rhetorics are pretentious, where do you get off
credits
released May 13, 2021
all instrumentation performed and all production by kyoto-me
kyōto-me is a collaborative project between multi-instrumentalists Alexis Bishop and Evangeline Shadden. Formed in the
spring of 2018, kyōto-me have been working together to produce tracks based around genres such as Noise, Experimental Rock and Shoegaze....more
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