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1. |
Cross
05:16
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When I
Tried to get away
They sent in a battalion
Of self-proclaimed neutral women
Uniforms embellished
With ropes and medals
And on her left breast
A large black cross
This is the new face of the centre of a cross
This is the new face of the masses lost
Botox’d and with a new coat of lead paint
Are all of these yuppie straight white woman saints
Imprisoned
By the look you give when you hear my voice
Why do you care
Who the fuck am I to you
Witch bitch
Made me the boogeyman
Scapegoat in the bathroom
I am your civil panic
The roots were formed right between the lines
It was right underneath your nose this entire time
Harry was a Hitler Youth and loving every second
Harry is the teacher of your kids, caters every lesson
You
Trapped me in this cage
You and your regime
Just kidding
All the kids
Taught to hate my guts
The parents
Blindly follow
Fearmongering to manifest your new reality
Supposedly, apparently the writer of the century
How gorgeous to see your hubris die like all that’s in your book
How beautiful to see you fall apart due to my looks
The crux of your agenda is oppressing all the youth
The irony of taking back the message in your work
Beloved cultish dumbass who thinks she matters more
But X-ray Twitter fantasies show she’s just an ageing bore
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2. |
Yearn
07:45
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I am the burden you keep hid
I am the troublemaker kid
I am the total embarrassment
You wish that I would sacrifice
My happiness to live your lie
I could not be any more clear
I am so much more than queer
How could you say that you love me
When you only love what I was previously
I’m so far gone from what I was
Come to terms with who I am now
Who I was always, but not allowed
You could’ve had much more time to cope
Yet always bottlenecked by your selfish tropes
I’ve known since before my paradigm shift
I’ve known since before he took his final hit
I’ve dealt with all this know-it-all shit
You don’t know the half of all I’ve seen in me
Stuck in the box of what you perceive
Stuck in unrealistic fantasies
Stuck in a past that was never me
You can call it love but I know the truth
Whenever I talked on the phone to you
The greeting was always the same
The greeting was always a false name
I’m an autonomous human being
I am living out what’s best for me
Give a fuck what your generation thinks
I’ll live this way just for the disarray
Make you uncomfortable in the day-to-day
Change your mind if you want, it won’t affect me
The rest of your kind will be dead soon anyway
(Bridge)
My frustration, endless
My sense of self-worth, unspooled
Threaded through the eye
Sewn into a frayed sweater
Full of holes
If pulled, comes apart
And offers no protection
From the eternal winter
Yet I grasp it
Desperately, and yet to no avail
Trying to capture the warmth
Of a childhood marred by drinks
Still, my love is 404’d
Supposedly unconditional
But this is the impasse line
The stubborn, bitter pill
Never get your fill
Sugar’s running dry
Didn’t wanna pry
If I still hate the mirror
Is that a reflection of me
Or is it an echo of
What I always see
The slight silent disdain
When I walk down with a skirt on
The numbing dulling pain
Of the way you were raised
So telling, it is
Just how shallow love can be
A change of language here or there
Can spell out a decade-long rift
I’m so far out in the cold
At least I no longer have to hide
When winter ends, so too does hibernation
And yet, here I am
My busted Marshall amp
My green guitar again
Stuck in my room again
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3. |
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Did you hear the news
Woke Chocolate That Hates You
Eats away at you
This is what they want
They are not like us
They want to kill us
They want to take away
All our security
Come into your house
Change all your pronouns
So you have no pronouns
What even are pronouns?
Doesn’t matter now
Mustn’t think, must act
Take your righteous weapon
Enact what God hath planned
“First, do no harm” they told you
Throw all that out the window
They want to change their bodies
Next thing you know, it’s our kids
Predatory behaviour
You know what they say, bad apple
Taking that risk, a death wish
Us or them, us or them
Us or them, herm or fem
Us or them, us or them
Herm or fem, us or them
Saw one in the park
Seemingly nothing
But I got this feeling
Right here in my gut
None are innocent
I know, I know what’s right
I’ll let the sins of few
Weigh down my whole worldview
My holy sacred book
It guides with blinding light
Proposed democracy
Always theocracy
One nation under God
Indivisible
Indivisible
Don’t fuckin’ make me laugh
“Love thy neighbour”, He told you
Throw all that out the window
God forbid, one person
Wouldn’t be God fearing
Which side had the agenda?
Are these lyrics ironic?
Am I begging for human rights?
Us or them, us or them
Us or them, herm or fem
Us or them, us or them
Herm or fem, us or them
(ad-lib right-wing nonsense)
“Grasping at straws”, I tell you
Throw prejudice out the window
Yes you’re a cis, and I’m trans
Who is the other people?
Which side had the agenda?
Theocratic government
Taking away our freedoms
Us or them, us or them
Us or them, herm or fem
Us or them, us or them
Herm or fem, us or them
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4. |
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We grew up tight-knit
Delivering baked goods to our neighbors
And as samaritans we cleaned their yards
Wearing garden gloves, picking up pinecones for quarters
We had high-top cons laced to the top eyelet
Chewed-off aglets and frayed threads
They never looked good until after their first summer
After they’d been coated in mud from the rainier days
We grew up on the outskirts of poverty
Not scraping by, not uncomfortable
Situated purely in the middle earning our keep, so to speak
I never understood why my parents wouldn’t give me baked goods
To give to our new black neighbors
Our neighborhood was ungentrified, as far as I remember it was stripped of all yuppies
Like a pocket of time still based in the 30s
Like something out of To Kill a Mockingbird
With hushed but tangible racism
We grew up with our neighbor’s dogs barking day and night
Without a care that they did so, because we grew up tight-knit
We spent summers sans shoes to try and be like hippies or hobbits
Drinking sodas only on special occasions and lemonade the rest of the time
Licking large jawbreakers that lasted aeons
Reading manga under trees in the backyard
Every stick of bamboo a javelin
Every animal a mythic creature
Backyard filled with unrivaled mysticism and wonder
A treehouse infested with japanese hornets
A wooden sword snapped in two
We grew up losing minifigures in the grass and sand
Digging holes in the grass to try and find geodes
Collecting ziplock-bags-full of precious gemstones
That we hoped to trade in for cash profits
We planned out our allowances, down to the last penny
Washing dishes, shoveling snow, like we saw in peanuts comics
We’d go to sunday school, indoctrinated into wholesome white values
But didn’t care much for scriptures so we’d draw out massive battles on paper
Every park a wonderland
Every river and brook a rapid
No, I wouldn't say I'd go back
I don't think anyone would know me
I don't think they'd understand, just what it is
That makes me who I am
I don't think they can walk a mile in another person's shoes,
Can't even find theirs
We grew up getting lost in the woods every november
Trudging our way back, frozen to the bone in our light winter clothes
Being greeted back home with Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese in those little blue pots
With oatmeal and peanut butter cookies
Jumping on trampolines
Riding ATVs
Killing time, waiting for Thanksgiving
For Christmas
For birthdays
Playing the Zelda soundtrack through a busted junk CD player
Syncing our imagined attacks to the melodies
Twelve pulling into cul-de-sacs armed with assault rifles
Busting up crack dens
We grew up sheltered from all cartoons deemed unchristian
We weren’t allowed to play Pokemon, cuz it had evolution
We look back on all this and laugh at just how ridiculous
The cult of christianity can get
We had to hide our passions from our parents
If they found out we liked what was “feminine” it got pried from our hands
Repressed creativity, depressed ego, some fought for our rights to like what we did
Others fell victim to the endless reassurance that what you love
How you love
Who you love
Is wrong
We grew up comfortable
We grew up happy
We grew up blissfully unaware
And then we grew up
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kyōto-me Aurora, Colorado
kyōto-me is a collaborative project between multi-instrumentalists Alexis Bishop and Evangeline Shadden. Formed in the spring of 2018, kyōto-me have been working together to produce tracks based around genres such as Noise, Experimental Rock and Shoegaze. ... more
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